the graduate reflects

It took me a long time to write this, between the traveling, and hanging out with friends before saying goodbye and some precious me time, I had thoughts, and it was hard to put these thoughts in writing.

So I graduated, and I have a college degree. And I got my official "Degree conferred" transcript with a list of all the classes I had ever taken. And grades.

I did it. I have a degree in Mathematics, with a not terrible CGPA. I want to tell you that it didn't matter what my final CGPA was, but it did. I worked my hardest my last semester, between my thesis and 500 level math classes and Catalan to not go below the standard I put up for myself.

But of course, in the end, it didn't matter. Anyone could tell you this. Anyone could tell you that your 4-year college degree is more than all the classes you had taken. And this is true, and I knew this, despite all the nights I was in tears thinking about why I don't have a 3.5 GPA.

I want to tell you that I am blessed to be able to experience this liberal arts education. I want to tell you that I am blessed to be able to step outside myself and observe the world.

For every American who asked me if Malaysia is in Asia, there's one American who knew more about our politics than most of my peers. And one who could talk to you about the ethnic conflict in Kyrgyztan. And another who can tell you what the Quran says about a certain issue from three different sources. And plenty who took the time to learn languages and cultures of others.

And really, there are stupid people everywhere. You can't avoid them.

But being abroad, being away from home, familiarity, feeling like a foreigner in a foreign world, has taught me to look at the world. And ask questions. And never settle for "I don't know". And to never judge too harshly.

So I really don't know what I am trying to say. I am glad that college is over.

But what now?

College for me was all about learning; learning how to do math which later becomes learning how to pass a math test when you have no idea what is going on in class, learning a new language, learning how to write, learning how to make it seem like you are interested, learning how to write a 10 page paper in 12 hours and still sound like you have been researching for the last two weeks... so many skills and knowledge obtained in just four years!

But knowledge is a burden, and I carry this burden with me every day and it just gets heavier day by day.